


my love only amounts to this (it's enough for me)

by dal_segno



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Boys In Love, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Gen, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Plot/Plotless, Self-Indulgent, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dal_segno/pseuds/dal_segno
Summary: Dongho is enough for him, and hopefully, Aron’s enough for him too.
Relationships: Kang Dongho | Baekho & Aaron Kwak | Aron, Kang Dongho | Baekho/Aaron Kwak | Aron
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	my love only amounts to this (it's enough for me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [3minswriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3minswriting/gifts).



> Hi! 3minswriting wanted a fluffy BaekRon fic and I was bored so here you go! I hope your teeth rot at the domestic fluff. First part of the title is from Seventeen's All My Love (which inspired this fic!)

Promotions were supposed to be good.

The five of them were supposed to have fun, fueled by cheers from their fans who waited a long time to meet them again.

But it wasn’t.

Aron throws himself onto the cool, emerald sheets. Goosebumps flare across Aron’s pale skin. His hair, fresh from a shower, seeps into the pillowcase. Aron internally groans but makes note to change his bedsheets; he’s been so busy preparing for the comeback that he keeps forgetting to do some chores here and there. No matter, there’s always the day after and so many days after that. Chores can wait until Aron feels better. The question of _when_ he’ll get better… well, he’ll see.

He can’t bring himself to get up from his sprawl on the bed, even if his body’s twisting in an uncomfortable position. Aron’s nose presses against the wet pillow as he drowns a sob. There’s no point in crying-- not when Dongho’s going to see him in this sorry state when he gets out of the bathroom. 

At that, Aron pushes himself upward and dabs at the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Droopy, defeated eyes stare at him in the mirror, not too red or puffy to send Dongho in a frenzy. No point in worrying his members more than they already are.

You’d think that by an idol group’s fourth year they’d be successful and well-known. You’d think that there’d be thousands of people waiting for each new release from them with bated breath. You’d think that a group like NU’EST, who literally started out as one of K-Pop’s biggest rookie groups of 2012, would end up as household names and pop sensations.

That isn’t quite what happened though.

Misfortune seemed to follow the five boys wherever they went, whatever they did. The years after their debut hadn’t sold as many albums or seen as many fans like the beginning of their career, and Aron fears he might have to say goodbye to his members and music before he can even show the world what they can do. 

Dongho just started making songs for them, and the light in Minki’s eyes had burned so brightly when their manager told them to prepare for their first Korean comeback in a year and a half. Minhyun found a new passion in writing songs, while Jonghyun was confident they’d be able to rise up from the ashes after a long time. There was just so much they could do, but fate had made it clear time and time again that they wouldn’t be able to soar as high as they wanted to.

Would… would anyone even miss them if they disbanded out of the blue? Scratch that, disbandment was always on the horizon, creeping closer everyday. It wouldn’t be surprising if they disappeared from the music scene at all. The very few fans they had would only be sad for a little while before moving onto the more popular groups taking over the industry. NU’EST would be nothing but a speck of dust passing through the vacuum of the universe, small and insignificant. It takes everything out of Aron not to cry; yet his efforts go to waste the second a helpless whimper escapes his chapped lips.

Before Aron knows it, tears cascade down his rough cheeks and onto his clenched hands. His whole body trembles as if a gust of wind swept through him. It’s suddenly so, so cold. No amount of heavy blankets and hot tea would keep him from shivering. He thinks there’s nothing in the world that can warm him up again, not after all the things fate has subjected him to. 

It’s so cold and the world keeps blurring into a swirl of all kinds of colours, and Aron just wants it to stop. He brings his knees, even if it hurts to do so, to his chest. If Aron curls up into himself, he might become small enough to hide from the world.

So much for being NU’EST’s hyung and rock. Aron’s so pathetic and _useless_ that he can’t do anything for the four boys who counted on him. He can’t seem to do anything right anymore, unlike the star student Aaron of the past. A noise forms at the back of his throat; not quite a laugh but not quite a groan either.

In the midst of his inner turmoil, Aron fails to notice the water stopped running. Or the heavy footsteps coming his way. He even fails to notice what would normally have been the elephant in the room with his size altogether.

It’s only when a pair of cool, strong arms wrap around his shaking figure that Aron acknowledges that he’s not the only one in the room now. Aron offers a shaky smile, but Dongho’s jaw only clenches harder. 

_Dongho is all grown up_ , the older man thinks to himself. _Wasn’t he just a teenager a little while ago?_

“Hyung,” Dongho starts, unsure of how to approach the situation. “You can tell me anything, but I’m not gonna ask.” Aron’s head drops a little lower. He appreciates Dongho looking out for him, but can’t help but feel so burdensome. Surely the others had problems to take care of on their own, Aron dumping his issues on them won’t help them.

Aron shakes his head slowly. “No need for that, Dongho.” The other man looks at him with clear disbelief. “Really! You guys have your own stuff to deal with, so I don’t wanna add onto that.”

Dongho’s mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. He doesn’t know if he should press it or leave Aron alone. Sighing, he makes a decision that hopefully won’t end up in Aron feeling worse. 

“Okay then. I’ll just stay here and play some games.” 

Aron’s face morphs into one of confusion but he adjusts his position with Dongho nevertheless; Dongho doesn’t seem to want to return to his bunk bed right above Aron’s anytime soon. The younger man slides his body between Aron’s legs, resting the back of his head on Aron’s chest. Aron props himself a little higher on his bed to support both of them and looks off to the distance when Dongho occupies himself with his phone.

_It’s a little less cold now_ , Aron thinks as he drifts off to a light nap.

-

When Aron stirs, his cheek turns to the other side of the pillow. He absentmindedly brings a hand to push himself from the bed, only for it to feel warm skin instead of cool cotton. Jerking upwards, Aron hits his head on the metal of the bunker bed above him. The sound makes the person sleeping next to him wake up, and Aron’s eyes take in soft features and a warm smile.

“Dongho,” Aron breathes out. Bulky arms wrapped around his torso keep him from sitting upright, but he finds that it’s comfortable with Dongho. A smile settles on Aron’s lips; the corners of Dongho’s lips curve up too.

“Feel any better?” Dongho asks in a raspy voice. “I won’t ask, but I’m still gonna be here— unless you don’t want me to…?” Shaking his head, Aron says it’s alright, and it’s all the confirmation Dongho needs to stay by his hyung’s side.

They bask in each other’s presence in silence. Their hands interlock under the blanket, though Aron isn’t sure why. It’s not like there’s anyone else in here: why hide? It’s then that he realises that it’s less a matter of hiding than it is of Dongho’s way to tell him he’s there for the older. Dongho is loud and passionate about things, but there’s also a side to him that likes to be quiet and soft when he needs to be. He knows Aron doesn’t like to get it over with all at once-- he’d rather go about slowly and with someone to catch him if he falls. Aron doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve a friend like Dongho. Or any of the others.

“Hyung?” Dongho’s tender voice rips Aron from his inner monologue, and forces him to acknowledge he’s crying again. Damn it.

“I—” The words get stuck in Aron’s throat. “I’m scared. Of so many things.” The main vocalist doesn’t comment, and Aron keeps going. If he doesn’t get everything out right this second he might just burst into flames.

“I don’t know what to do, or how to help. We just got started and I’m so scared— so fucking scared— that everything will go to waste and we can’t do anything about it.” Dongho’s thumb moves over Aron’s knuckles: a silent encouragement. Aron takes a shaky breath and continues despite his wavering voice. Funny how he always sang emotional lyrics with a stable voice, but now it fails him. 

“It’s— it’s not like I _want_ an answer on why our company decided we weren’t worth the effort. I just want to make music and perform with the five of us without worrying if we’ll even make it to the next comeback. All of you gave up your youth to perform, and we all worked so hard…!” 

Aron’s tears just don’t stop flowing. A big, warm hand cups his cheeks, and Aron doesn’t need to open his eyes to know the kind of expression Dongho has. He can’t take the tension in his chest; looking at Dongho would only make him break down more than he already is. So Aron keeps talking. “I’m scared,” Aron reiterates, for the lack of better words. “Is there really nothing we can do to keep singing together? Haven’t we worked hard enough? Done enough?”

The bitterness in his voice turns into something softer and more vulnerable. Aron doesn’t know what else to say without repeating the same things. His face is sticky and cold but he doesn’t have the energy to do anything else than just let the last of his tears soak the pillowcase. Dongho’s arms squeeze him a little tighter.

“We’ve done enough,” Dongho says simply. “And we’ll always find a way to be together. I swear on it.”

It isn’t long before Dongho has something to say again. He kisses Aron’s glistening forehead. “I don’t know how to help you sort everything out, hyung—”

“You don’t have to—”

“—But I wish I could.” He laughs a little. “You’ve had it the hardest. Moving to a country where you know nothing of the people or the language. Working hard to debut. Everything. It wasn’t easy for you.” Dongho buries his face in Aron’s neck as he thinks of his next words.

“I may not be able to give you answers or anything, but I want you to know I’m here. We all are. We’ll figure something out, and if we don’t—” He shrugs halfway through. “—Then we’ll just keep going in a way we know how.”

Aron says nothing, choosing to wrap his legs around Dongho’s. He takes in the other’s warmth for comfort. “Thank you,” Aron says after a while in a small voice. Dongho replies with a tight hug and a kiss to Aron’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“What for?”

“My love only amounts to this. I can’t do more for you even if I wanted to.”

It’s Aron’s turn to leave a small peck on Dongho’s burning cheek. “It’s enough for me.”

  
  


-

The next year goes by in a blink. In the beginning, Jonghyun, Dongho, Minhyun, and Minki were grilled endlessly on the internet for being established idols joining a show for trainees. Then as the months wore on, the four of them did their best to come out on top and show everyone what they could do. Aron, who cried many more times than he’d like to admit at the end of the show, felt so proud of them. He only wished he competed with them and stood proud with the four boys he grew to love in the past six years.

Everything seemed to change after that night of drinking. All of their songs had charted— something that hadn’t happened since their first comeback— and the public had made it clear that they looked forward to what the group would do next. 

Though they’d have to part with Minhyun for a year and a half, all five of them couldn’t help but feel hopeful at last. Dongho, who wouldn’t usually dare make his affection to Aron public, had kissed Aron right in the lips after being filled with so much happiness. Everyone only giggled after the initial shock and panic had worn off. Aron smiled so much until his cheeks hurt.

And then good things just kept on happening. NU’EST W and WANNA ONE’s debuts spread like wildfire online. For the first time in years, the four of them got to experience a fully-packed stadium with cheers louder than anything they ever dreamed of. Minhyun, on the other hand, had fun experiencing all kinds of new things with his other group and the sweet taste of hard work paying off at last.

They’d all been much busier than they’ve ever been with promotions and all kinds of schedules. Being the face of so many products and commercials felt so surreal. Slowly, they were building up what they lost together.

As for Aron and Dongho? Nothing much has changed, despite the world shifting around them everyday. They mostly keep their affection to themselves. It’s simply too much to tell anyone besides the other members and their families, at least for now. If their relationship works out (and it has, for the past few years), they’ll tell a few others. But it’s really no rush; they’re happy as they are right now.

And it’s enough for the two of them.

-

December comes to a close with their last Double You concert and a few award shows. Jonghyun stands proud at the podium many times, doing his parts of the acceptance speech before the others take a turn at the microphone. Aron and Dongho often share a silent moment together backstage while Jonghyun and Minki set out to find Minhyun and the rest of the WANNA ONE members. They try not to cry at their achievements and thank the staff whenever they see them.

The new year greets the five boys, eager to be together in one group again. They could all care less about the petty internet fights people would get into about them. It’s exciting and scary all the same. Who knows what the future would bring?

Aron is brought out from his thoughts by soft whining, and where he was expecting Noah asking for his attention, Dongho’s pouting face fills his view. Dongho has this uncanny ability to know what Aron is feeling at any given moment; Aron isn’t sure if he should be grateful or scared. He offers a tired smile at the younger man.

“Don’t stress out too much,” Dongho says in a sing-song tone. Aron reaches for the other’s freshly dyed black hair to ruffle it. “We told you to trust us, right? And so far it’s going great.”

“I’m glad I stayed,” the American says, barely above a whisper. “I’m glad you’re here with me right now.” True to Dongho’s cheeky nature, he bursts into a sunny smile.

“Careful, the other three might get jealous, hyung.” Aron barks out a full laugh, and Dongho joins the chorus. Kkotsoonie looks up from her bed before deciding it’s not worth the effort investigating. The two men were always like this, laughing and saying nonsense things like always. Noah, on the other hand, bounces from his place on the floor to invade the two humans’ space, wanting to get in on the fun.

_Yeah_ , Aron thinks as Dongho tries to steal a kiss from him. _This is enough._

It’s enough to be smiling and in love with Dongho, no matter what the future had in store for them. To hear the other man sing of love and laugh at nonsense, it was all Aron needed in the moment. Even if they clashed here and there— with Dongho’s temper and Aron’s emotions— he wouldn’t ask for anything else. 

Dongho is enough for him, and hopefully, Aron’s enough for him too.

**Author's Note:**

> A few of the dialogue was inspired by my favourite manga of all time Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams at Dusk) and you bet your ass I used the opportunity to reference it >:)
> 
> Here's my [ twitter account ](https://twitter.com/nuestpop)! Maybe drop me a comment or a kudos? Thanks!


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